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Some matters of religious practice are non-negotiable.

If over time you are not getting the feeling that you trust this person, follow your instincts and leave while you can.Commandment #9: Trust Your Friends Getting an objective opinion can be really crucial when you are making serious life decisions.Don't be afraid to share your anxiety and ask for their thoughts.Are the brothers, sisters and parents the kind of people that will eventually feel to me like my own family?Commandment #5: Don't Confuse Values with Religious Customs and Practice.Commandment #4: Look for A Positive Fit with Family Styles and Similar Values While one shouldn't rule out any person simply on the basis of him or her having a different background, the chances for success are higher when there are basic similarities.

When a shidduch is being suggested, of course you are trying to find out about the individual, but make sure to ask yourself is this the kind of family I would be comfortable with?Commandment #8: Don't Be Afraid to Succeed Though it is difficult to admit, some people are afraid to succeed.Having a successful relationship may inadvertently hurt other family members.As we discussed previous chapters, some people are attracted to those who hurt them, and others start off relationships being attracted to the same qualities that they ultimately end up despising.Therefore, although it is important to feel attracted to your potential mate, and you certainly should not marry someone who you have no positive feelings for, what you should be looking for is shared values, mutual respect, and an ability to enjoy each other's company.Commandment #2: Assess Your Ability to Solve Problems Together We believe this to be the single most important quality that a successful relationship must have.

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