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After all, when I meet someone in real life that I like, I tend not to say, "Hi, I'm Rhodri, and here's a list of food I don't like eating." The rules of attraction are just too complex to be held in a database and analysed by a computer.Thomas: "The idea that someone likes to spend weekends mountain biking or, I dunno, shaving lions – that's the kind of thing that would send me up the nearest bell tower with a sniper rifle." But we're forced to filter the mass of potential datees, and we do it savagely.
"Plenty more fish in the sea" isn't just a well-meaning phrase uttered by a kindly relative after you've been dumped. I'm kind of glumly staring at you, which may be one of the reasons why I haven't done so well.) Long-term internet dating participants know only too well, however, the cycle of knock-back followed by a speedy return to the site in search of someone else.Unreplied-to messages sit in the "sent" folder as a grim reminder of your failure to connect with someone, almost prompting you to fire off another message saying "What's the problem? What is it about me that might or might not trump someone else?" If you live in a city, the seemingly inexhaustible array of potential beaus strewn across these websites is part of the appeal.But while I wouldn't want to date someone who gets a kick out of attending far-right political rallies, it's certainly true that opposites can attract.I went out with a wonderful woman for seven years who loved Barbra Streisand. In a relationship these kind of things aren't an issue, but internet dating makes them into one.But the people I've spoken to who've been bruised by it are unanimous as to why that happened. Adam: "It's blackly comic: we all say we're fun-loving, up for a laugh, just seeing how things go – when everyone knows that we're all on a dating site because, to varying extents, we're lonely." Internet dating pivots around profiles; lists of attributes, paragraphs where you attempt to make yourself sound appealing, a handful of flattering photographs. Dozens of books and websites offer advice on how to write profiles; third-party services even charge 40 quid to save you the bother. Everyone loves travelling, particularly to Machu Picchu – which, if the profiles are to be believed, is an Inca site swarming with thousands of backpacking singletons. All of us love to curl up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a DVD (or a VD, as one unfortunately misspelled profile said).
They believe it's a problem inherent to the process. The vernacular of online dating makes everyone sound the same. " Searching for a partner online has inevitable similarities to searching for a product.In 1966, The Supremes explained to us that you can't hurry love.Sixteen years later Phil Collins concurred: "You just have to wait," he sang, additionally noting that love don't come easy.Richard: "But you getthat thrill when someone responds.For a short time you're on top of the world – and that's followed by a low point.I've got a number of friends and acquaintances who share my feelings about the way online dating plays fast and loose with your emotions.