Dating a woman who was sexually abused as a child

17-Dec-2017 20:58 by 4 Comments

Dating a woman who was sexually abused as a child

He’d bounce me up and down on his lap, or make me play hide-and-seek, and then molest me when he caught me.I got very good at hiding, but it didn’t help.

"Joe was the most non-male man I’d ever met," she recalls with just a hint of a smile. I thought that being safe for the first time in my life would be enough to make me happy." But eight years and two children later, the marriage ended.

Incestuous abuse–defined by sexual abuse researcher and author Diana Russell in her book, The Secret Trauma (Basic Books, 1986), as "any kind of exploitative sexual contact or attempted contact between relatives that occurred before the victim turned 18 years old"–accounted for 23% of the abuse suffered by the student participants.

Forty-one% were molested by friends or acquaintances; 27% by strangers.

Some male survivors suffer impotence, most often under circumstances reminiscent of their molestations.

"men who have been molested, particularly by their mothers," says Mr. Society thinks of mothers as sacrosanct, virginal, so the self-blame among these men is acute.

But she knows that both of her sisters were raped repeatedly by their father, and her own out-of-control behavior and nightmares have convinced her that she, too, was sexually abused.

"Before I got married, I’d sleep with anybody," she says.

But if it isn’t defused, eventually there’s an explosion." The fallout from this explosion was reported in the book, Father-Daughter Incest (Harvard University Press, 1982), by Judith Herman.

She found that 65% of adult incest survivors suffered from severe depression; 55% had sexual problems; 35% became promiscuous; 20% became alcoholics and/or drug addicts.

Also, mothers who molest often transmit an expectation of fidelity to their victim sons, which distorts male survivors’ view of what fidelity means.

One patient of mine thought he was abnormal and deceptive because he occasionally fantasized about women other than his wife.

My mother tells me she never saw me shed a tear after I was eight years old. But it just didn’t work for me as a wife." Twenty years ago, when Dana was a child, experts believed that incest occurred in one in a million American families. A 1985 study conducted by the Los Angeles Times concluded that at least 22% of all Americans–27% of all women and 16% of men–have been victims of child sexual abuse.

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