Dating church of christ
Dating church of christ
by Shelley Poston It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong [defraud] his brother in this manner, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things…” God’s will is for your sanctification, which includes purity. If it is not, then he is a defrauder, who loves himself more than you or God. How does your date cope when things do not go as planned?
As Solomon, the wisest man of all, said, “For wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her”, (Proverbs ). A man who does not want counsel and hides from accountability is a man who is not ready to be open with a wife.
He may seem strong and independent, but he may actually be prideful.
As cute as his flirtation may have seemed toward you, it might also be an indicator that he likes “playing the field” and will continue to—even just in seemingly harmless ways—after marriage. A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble.
Proverbs says, “Where there is no guidance [counsel], a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” A man who seeks counsel is a man who desires to be wise. Has he invited accountability into his life from not only his friends, but older and wiser men?
Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? Proverbs -25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? If he would more readily spend a day on the lake than helping someone in need, this indicates where his heart lies.
Proverbs makes it clear that you will only be ensnared. You may actually become an enabler who receives the brunt of his anger. Those little childlike qualities may seem really cute right now, but it will grow old (and aggravating) shortly into marriage. If a man is not responsible with his time, money, and work, why would he be responsible in his future family life? You should also consider your date’s relationships with other people.
If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. Ask yourself these questions: How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church? However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians -27, emphasis mine).
Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.
If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.
I'm wondering what the diffences are between these two denominations. They might be more similar to some of the more fundamentalist evangelical protestant churches?