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02-Dec-2017 02:50 by 4 Comments

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A handful of things bunched together during one summer might have just been a phase.But here, in event after encounter after situation, consistently, for close to 20 years since the start of puberty, there was something And on and on the list went.

This is the one that finally tipped me over the edge.It became absolutely clear to me that my views on sex were completely different from anyone else I’d ever talked to. There was something fundamentally different about me.It was because of that realization that I went out to try to discover exactly what it was that was going on with me, which is how I discovered asexuality.It’s like saying “You’re unxonoxian if you’ve never seen a xonox.” How are you supposed to know if you’ve never seen a xonox, when you have absolutely no idea what a xonox is?Maybe you’ve seen one, but just didn’t know that’s what it was called.It’s these shared experiences which often make people come to realize that they’re asexual.

In this series of posts, I’m going to explore some of them.

A lack of experiencing sexual attraction is the only thing that all asexuals have in common. But that definition doesn’t help people who are trying to figure out if they’re asexual.

It’s a definition through negation, which isn’t useful if you’re not sure what’s being negated.

Sometimes, because of this, you may forget that others don’t typically look at sex as an intellectual curiosity, and you may talk about things in a context where other people are shocked or embarrassed by your openness. You haven’t had sex for [insert significant amount of time here], so why are other people so worked up about going without for two weeks?

In general (although not universally speaking), asexual people don’t have a problem going without sex for long periods of time.

One day, I was talking with a friend about some sex scene on a TV show I’d seen the day before.

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