Etiquette dating in japan
Etiquette dating in japan - short dating poems
A woman (女) married the household (家) of her husband, hence the logograms for yome Marriage was restricted to households of equal social standing (分限), which made selection a crucial, painstaking process.Although Confucian ethics encouraged people to marry outside their own group, limiting the search to a local community remained the easiest way to ensure an honorable match.
Traditionally, marriages were categorized into two types according to the method of finding a partner—omiai, meaning arranged or resulting from an arranged introduction, and ren'ai, in which the husband and wife met and decided to marry on their own—although the distinction has grown less meaningful over postwar decades as western ideas of love alter Japanese perceptions of marriage.
Aristocratic wives could remain in their fathers' house, and the husband would recognize paternity with the formal presentation of a gift.
The forms of Heian courtship, as well as the pitfalls of amorous intrigue, are well represented in the literature of the period, especially The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, The Sarashina Diary, The Pillow Book, and The Tale of Genji.
Public education became almost universal between 1872 and the early 1900s, and schools stressed the traditional concept of filial piety, first toward the nation, second toward the household, and last of all toward a person's own private interests.
Marriage under the Meiji Civil Code required the permission of the head of a household (Article 750) and of the parents for men under 30 and women under 25 (Article 772)., although some would meet for the first time at the wedding ceremony.
Parents sometimes staged an arranged marriage to legitimize a "love match," but many others resulted in separation and sometimes suicide. A proposal by Baron Hozumi, who had studied abroad, that the absence of love be made a grounds for divorce failed to pass during debates on the Meiji Civil Code of 1898.
Marriage, like other social institutions of this period, emphasized the subordinate inferiority of women to men.A visitor to Japan described the omiai as "a meeting at which the lovers (if persons unknown to each other may be so styled) are allowed to see, sometimes even to speak to each other, and thus estimate each others' merits." However, their objections carried little weight.The meeting was originally a samurai custom which became widespread during the early twentieth century, when commoners began to arrange marriages for their children through a go-between Courtship remained rare in Japan at this period.Aristocrats exchanged letters and poetry for a period of months or years before arranging to meet after dark.If a man saw the same woman for a period of three nights, they were considered married, and the wife's parents held a banquet for the couple., the basic unit of society with a collective continuity independent of any individual life.