Gay friendly dating sites like grindr

07-Dec-2017 10:08 by 9 Comments

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"Tinder changed the landscape of online dating a little," my friend Nomi*, 30, who identifies as queer, said. Dating apps nowadays make me want to move to a cave in the mountains and change my name." Another friend of mine, also named Lindsay, 34, who also identifies as queer, echoed similar sentiments, saying that she hates lesbian dating app Her because it's too much like Tinder in all the wrong ways.

"This is not necessarily a problem, but sometimes it's hard to gauge if someone is feeling experimental versus being very much past that stage." A straight-identifying friend even told me she sometimes turns her Tinder to women-seeking-women to chat with women even though she'd "probably never do anything." Enough false-positive matches like that would turn anyone off.The wide range of identities of women-seeking-women not only makes it hard to sign up for apps that only have three options (straight, lesbian, bisexual) but could also explain why the majority of the queer women I spoke to say they prefer to meet dates through friends."I build everything on trust," my friend Valey, 27, who meets other women through friends IRL, told me."And there needs to be the right mix of male/female participants (or whatever permutation makes sense)." With a 2011 report by the Williams Institute showing that only 3.4 percent of Americans self-identity as lesbian or bisexual women, the odds you'd find the correct permutation in a given area is slim indeed.Chen adds that "until there's word-of-mouth, and enough people to generate a quality experience, the marketplace will suck." So lesbians who have primarily heterosexual friends might not know about the app, and gay women who hang out with other gay women probably see people they already know on the app (aka exes they'd rather not see ever again).Lauren Kay, co-founder of the Dating Ring, says it is a bit of a chicken or egg situation.

"Getting funding for a dating app is very, very hard.

After all, she says, it's easier to ask all of your friends what that cute girl's situation is when they all know her and probably have for years.

While that's obviously the same in straight dating, straight people don't have to figure out just how straight someone is, worry about navigating a relationship with someone who's not out, or potentially have to deal with someone using them as an experiment.

"We talked to a lot of people, including founders of other dating sites, and gay women we were friends with," Tessler says.

When Tessler decided to start online matchmaking service The Dating Ring two years ago, she couldn't get nearly enough gay women to match with the few gay women who had signed up for the service.

A 2013 study from Liverpool Hope University that studied 126 lesbian and straight women with the average age of 27 found that lesbians had and wanted to have just as much casual sex as straight women.

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