The shiksas guide to dating jewish

18-Sep-2017 11:17 by 3 Comments

The shiksas guide to dating jewish

Instead, I’d rather spend my time picking apart the stereotypes in last year’s , which is not a book to be cast aside lightly.Rather, to continue with the Dorothy Parker paraphrase, it should be hurled aside with great force.

(My husband, while we’re on the topic, can be counted on to make a complete mess even of the sections he skips.) But I know better than to spend my time picking apart the stereotypes in . Hello—it came out in 1978, and may have had about as long a shelf life as that which some of us secretly wish upon the engagement of Zach Braff to Mandy Moore.Repeat the phrase “Jewish man” instead of replacing it with “Hebrew honey,” “love mensch,” or, God help us, “Mr.Tall, Dark, and Circumcised.” Even the flattering stereotypes in this book are annoying.So on the one hand, you could say this book represents a step forward: not “all” Jewish men are nebbishy. Lest you think, in the book’s defense, “Hey, but every Jewish guy I know folds, never crumples, the paper!” let me add this: I can guarantee you that my father has folded, never crumpled, the paper since the day he was born.Take, for instance, Proverbs 5:3-10: “The lips of a strange woman drip honey…. Keep yourself far away from her.” This is a “dire warning,” writes Benvenuto, with “the ring of a 1950s anti-venereal disease campaign.” Thousands of years later, we still fear the shiksa succubus, though the evidence often comes in the form of rueful jokes about the “loss” of Jon Stewart to a woman whose maiden name starts with “Mc.” “In the guise of spiritual seductress, enticing Jewish men away from their heritage, the gentile woman is a scapegoat for the fear that, by their own neglect, American Jews will bring about the destruction of Judaism,” writes Benvenuto.

“Contradictorily, when she actively pursues conversion, she is equally effective at touching off Jews’ ambivalence about their own religious identity.” Shiksaphobia: that’s problem.The Union for Reform Judaism, concerned about sending the message that the movement “does not care” whether or not non-Jews convert, recently called upon synagogues to increase their efforts to encourage conversion of non-Jewish spouses. To others, it’s telling the truth: we are a Jewish organization; we love you no matter what, but we’d love, lurve, luff you if you were Jewish.In short, the matter is more complicated than it is “kooky”—and fortunately for those mixed couples who are serious about the longer run, there are plenty of “serious” guides to negotiating interreligious relationships, with or without conversion.Still, it would be nice if the cheekier books would at least nod toward the notion that being involved with a Jew is more than a matter of learning to tell salmon from sable.Because what real life reminds us is this: often, people who fall in love with Jews also fall in love with Judaism.Snapshots from my dating past: The litigator who knew the Metropolitan Museum of Art by heart; the writer whose dad was a blacklisted actor; the sports marketer who moonlighted as a drummer in a salsa band; the stockbroker who retired young and toured the barbeque and banjo joints of the Smokies in a rusty Cadillac.

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