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06-Dec-2017 22:04 by 8 Comments

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When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

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AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.